What’s arguably the most common reason people put off estate planning? It’s naming a guardian for their minor children. No doubt this is a difficult decision for parents to make. However, if you and your spouse don’t name a guardian for your minor children and you both die unexpectedly, a court will name one.

First steps

Begin by developing a list of potential candidates. Immediate family members are obvious choices, but don’t limit yourself. Extended family members, friends, teachers and childcare providers may also be good choices.

There’s no definitive “right” or “wrong” choice for a guardian. Every situation is different. But there are several factors that may sway your decision:

Identify the values that are important to you and your spouse. These may include religious and moral beliefs, parenting philosophy, educational values, and social values. Bear in mind that you’re not likely to find a perfect match, so you’ll need to prioritize your values.

List the intangibles. It’s important to consider potential guardians’ intangible qualities, such as their personalities and whether they’d be a good “fit” for your children.

Potential guardian’s age. If your children are very young, a grandparent or other older person may not have the energy to keep up with them. Plus, your parents may experience health issues that could adversely affect the family dynamic. Choosing a younger guardian also reduces the risk that your kids will go through the trauma of losing another loved one.

Location. It’s often preferable to name a guardian who lives close to your current location as opposed to someone residing thousands of miles away. The transition will be easier for the kids if they aren’t uprooted.

Living circumstances. No one can fully project into the future, but at least you can take current circumstances into account. For instance, if you’re inclined to select a sibling as guardian, does he or she already have kids? Is he or she single, married or in a relationship? You don’t want your child to be thrust into chaos when a safer choice may be available.

Once you narrow your list to a primary choice and one or two alternates, discuss your plans with them. You can’t force someone to act as your children’s guardian, so it’s critical to talk with all candidates to make sure they understand what’s expected of them and are willing to take on the responsibilities. If your children are mature enough, you may want to get their input as well.

Reaching a final decision

Keep in mind that your choice of guardian isn’t binding. In appointing a guardian, a court’s sole concern is the child’s best interest. But it’ll generally defer to your wishes unless it deems the person you choose to be unfit. To help ensure that your nominee is accepted, write a letter explaining the reasons for your choice. Contact us with any questions or visit our related service page for more information on how we can assist you.

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